Just to let you know my wife I have no children of our own. However the oldest nephew on my wife's side of the family has issues and I'm seeing those problems firsthand.
A little background before I ask the question.
My wife and I have been married for 10 years now and 9 of those 10 her sister (my sister-in-law) and her family, husband and 3 nephews,were never in our lives. Her sister and family are yet again no longer in our lives, but the oldest nephew has decided to stay with my mother-in-law. My wife and I live close to my mother-in-law so I'm over there a-lot. For the 2 years that my sister-in-law was back in the family I have noticed why she was not in the family for a long time. She and her mother (my mother-in-law) don't get along.
While my sister-in-law and her family were here I have noticed things coming up missing. Most of the things missing were found in their possession but other things were not able to be located. I believe my sister-in-law and brother-in-law stole a lot of what is missing. As for the 3 nephews the 2 youngest ones seem to have no problems but the oldest however is acting like a gangsta and doing/making drugs. He is also not going to school although he said he would give it a try. Since he is acting this way now I just wonder what he will be like if TSHTF.
I give you the reader all of this information for the following reason. Children are very impressionable no matter what age they are. Anybody's mindset can change at any moment, especially children's since they process information differently than an adult. My question to you is this. If TSHTF and one or more of your children becomes unruly during and possibly because of this event would you be able to handle this along with what is going on around you?
Wow ... Great question: (my opinion)
ReplyDeleteFirst responceability is your family .... After that you can attempt to extend that into neighbors & extended family.
2nd ... As a man and "head of household"... You must establish leadership?
3rd ... Rules must be established and adhered to .... It's not personal at that point but long term survival Of the group as a whole .... And there is much more to this but it's a start?
"T"
I understand your dilemma. Thankfully my kids are grown, one has seen the light, the other hasn't. Grandkids are a different story. Some are diagnosed w/ADD/autism/and the like. IDK how I would handle them in a SHTF situation. right now, it's you're in my house it's my rules. And they at their young ages are well aware of that. Grandma says no, it's no. they are heck for their parents, but listen to us. Teens and drugs are a different issue. Might need to be a tough love situation.
ReplyDeleteI am not a proponent of hitting your kids, but sometimes it needs to happen. And if that's what it took to get them in line in a SHTF situation...sometimes they need a wakeup call...
but unruly and acting out of character in an unusual situation are different. hopefully, the unruly bit is dealt with before an unusual situation comes up. unruly is a pattern (been there done that, and that's the kid that gets it now).
Good luck with your situation!It took me involving the authorities to get my kid straightened out. Wasn't pleasant, but kid now appreciates that I had their best interests at heart...and loves me even more for it
It seems to me that the problem with this family is here and now, as they and you live each and every day. What to do if the big crisis comes up is another problem entirely, and this situation would undoubtedly make it worse. I, personally, would be addressing the untenable situation this family causes NOW, and worry about what may happen when and if it happens. Theft and unruly behavior must be dealt with and it won't correct itself.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have one 4 1/2 year old daughter, so if SHTF I think it wouldn't be much different for us in the discipline area, well, except maybe more training in safety and awareness. But if it were an older child, teenager or even older, I think we'd be much more harsh, because it could easily be a "Do or Die" situation and there is no room for screw-ups, theives, or other morally compromised individuals. Family or not.
ReplyDelete